B-Bopping, Brooklyn, Broward and Bruce

Anyone reading this who hasn't heard about B-Bopping probably never lived in the midwest during the 1960s. I have so many grand memories of growing up in Brooklyn, Ohio, where I regularly B-bopped around town as a kid and teenager. Not that I'd ever go back there and live. For one, it's much too cold.

And, second, I'm persona non grata in town after my award dinner speech in 1998 to the community and Hall of Fame Committee for Brooklyn High School.

In hindsight, I will admit it was not very tactful of me to tell everyone that Brooklyn was dying. And that I would never return to see the tree they planted in my name. But I couldn't help but notice, when I gave my speech to the assembled masses of students earlier during the day, that the entire auditorium was "white bread." Just like it was from 1967 to 1971, when I went to school there. No African-Americans. No Hispanics. No Asians. Hello. No wonder the town has never developed. Hmmm. I wonder how my tree is doing?

But I digress. And that's a D. Two weeks from now.

So anyway. When I was still thinking Brooklyn was the entire world, I B-bopped around town or my neighborhood a lot. For us mid-westerners, B-bopping meant just cruising around, listening to oldies, surfer music or Motown on the radio, getting a suntan at the pool, hanging out and giggling with my girlfriends, and trying to be "cool". Whatever that meant in those days.

And today I was B-bopping around Broward County in my new Audi TT Roadster. With the top down, of course. Listening to an all-Bruce station on the Sirius radio.Trying to be cool as I remembered how to shift gears on the manual transmission. And figuring out what all the bells and whistles (and iPod connections, top down, airfoil up features) are all about. And then I B-bopped off to work, where we "Ladies of Records" giggled and enjoyed this funky Christmas party that was a lot of fun.

30 years later. Still B-bopping. That's me.

Breathing and Balance

B
Breathe. Breath. Breathing.
So important to remember. Yet so easy to forget.
That's why I had "Breathe" tattooed in Chinese characters on my right shoulder. Just above the Angelfish.

Learning how to breathe efficiently while running was the first test. Really learned that back when I was at the Academy and training for the Marine Corps Marathon. Gosh, that was November 1990! Finished it in 4.5 hours, too. Now relearning running breathing again because I have this insane goal to run Disney Half marathon in January 2009 -- gives me a year to really learn how to breathe.

But yoga is where I have really learned about breathing. Erich Schiffmann. Gianni started studying yoga with him in L.A. in the early 1990s. As usual, I was a little late to the game and didn't start practicing yoga until December 1999. And then I only did it so that Gianni and I could do something together.

Now yoga is really a part of my lifestyle. From "hot yoga" Bikram, to Ashtanga, to Vinyasa and Amrit. Doesn't matter where I do it, when I do it or with whom. Well, actually, it does matter who is teaching. My practice has suffered recently because our yoga studio has suffered growing pains and is now moving. I never realized what a great yoga teacher Erich was until we went to a 3-day workshop with him in Austin, Texas, and then again in Phoenix.

The trick for me now is Breathing. Yoga breath vs. Running breath.
Different. Equally as important.

Breathing and Balance. That's where I'm at now. Trying to find balance in my life. Between running and yoga. Between work and play. Between giving and taking.

Anniversary Audi

So much for my idea of A Week of A. I still like the idea of an alphabet-based blog theme. Having difficulty with A, I guess. I shouldn't be.

ANNIVERSARY -- 12 years with Giancarlo. Having never thought I would have found anyone to put up with me, married to my job for 12 years, mucking up my life with a series of bad choices in men -- how could I ever be so lucky to have found the absolute BEST man for me? Thank you, Lenore Mom, for introducing us.

I had hoped to post great news about my other big A this week. That being my new AUDI TT.It was shipped from Germany on 12/6 and should be here in the states any day now.
I had hoped to be driving it on my Anniversary. But I'm sure I'll think of something appropriate to write about when I'm cruising around town in it during the B (or C?) week.

A Week of A

Appetites. Apathy. Anhedonia (at least about the holidays).
Angelfish.

Those A's would be me. Today, at least.

I've been self-studying my Appetites.
Literally -- for food.
Figuratively -- for running.
Both have become Addictions. And I can't seem to find a balance between them. It's always a struggle.

I've been so Apathetic about my business. Scared to send out letters and promote myself, my reputation, my skills. Afraid no one will want to hire me.

Christmas just doesn't mean much to me anymore; it does not bring me the same pleasures as it once did. But it should. Classic definition of Anhedonia. I feel guilty because I have so much in my life. I am blessed with good health, a loving husband, parents who are still alive, enough money to enjoy vacations and a wonderful home. I don't find pleasure in the gift-buying craziness; the insanity of holiday songs, trees and decorations appearing before Thanksgiving. And so I Avoid the whole holiday experience as much as I can. Guess that's why I often chose to work on Christmas.

And Angelfish. Always fish. Really looking forward to diving in Cozumel with Tracey and Alex during New Year's holiday. Doing yoga on the beach. Eating sushi (fish again!)

Frustration and Inspiration

It has been week of ups and downs.

Frustrations with myself, (some of) my peers, my yoga studio/practice, my weight gain (again).
Running more, running faster, running better.

Disappointed about St. Vincent and Bequia vacation plans.
Loving my new iTunes downloads.

Confused about future of my business.
Excited about my new Audi TT -- arriving today from Germany -- here soon.

Inspired by blogging.
Creative writing has always been a passion. Now I can combine my geek skills with the slight artistic talents I have vis-a-vis photography and graphic design to play with this site.

My sister, Linda, had a really valid point. For this blog to remain relevant, I really need to post regularly. I like the idea of following the alphabet. If it was good enough for Kinsey Malone, P.I., in the Sue Grafton alphabet novels, it's good enough for me.

I'll call it "blogging by letters". Every week, reflections on words beginning with the letter of the week.

My fictitious P.I. friend started with "A is for Alibi". Sunday I start with A -- and whatever inspires me after that.

Competency

I am working with two of the nicest women it has ever been my pleasure to know, Donna and Nancy. I say "working with," rather than "working for," because we are peers -- even though (technically) they are my supervisors: Donna in the Records Division, Nancy in the I/T Division.

Nancy and I have been commiserating about incompetency for the last several weeks. One of our co-workers has simply NOT been doing his job, and now I am tasked with trying to recreate computer property inventories from non-existent paper records, antiquated spreadsheets, and totally bizarre notes. I'm driving myself crazy in my anal retentiveness to locate and identify every piece of property we have acquired. And, of course, now I have to discretely contact internal affairs because some of the property is "missing."

What has Nancy really distressed -- and me totally p.o.'d about -- is the government (or lack thereof) in Haiti. Poor Nancy has been trying to deal with the Embassy there. What a nightmare! I love to travel, and especially love the Caribbean, but you'll never see Haiti on my list of "places to see."


On the other hand, I've been enjoying lively email chats with Bill Tewes, the model picture of competency, and owner of Dive St. Vincent about a possible dive vacation in May 2008 with Gianni and friends to St. Vincent, including a return trip to Bequia -- which is on my MUST SEE places.

Yet sometimes I get tired of being so stinking competent. I have the best intentions; I try to think of everyone when making my choices; I encourage others to be part of my decisions. And then I ultimately make the decisions anyway. Distress and Disappointment.

Running More Does NOT = Weighing Less

Grrrrrr. You would think that all this running I have been doing -- 3 times a week since October, increasing my distance and pace every week -- would have SOME effect on my weight. It has - but in the wrong direction!

It simply is not fair - this getting older, menopause, metabolism thing. I really try to eat healthy. Well, most of the time. I suppose the post-Thanksgiving ham and wine (and the leftover Halloween candy) has not helped very much. I rejoined Weight Watchers online back in September, most of the time getting inspiration and motivation from my fellow Lifetimers in the "Been There, Done That" group. In fact, I usually try to motivate everyone else.

My mantra is, "It's not about the journey, but the destination." I keep trying to just put one foot in front of the other, take one step at a time, appreciate what I'm learning from the struggle. Yeah, yeah. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Bottom line. I want to weigh what I did when I was married, 15 pounds ago. And that just ain't happening easily.

Bah Humbug

Really trying to get in the Christmas mood here. Gianni helped me hang Mom's Christmas wreath on the front of the Villa today. It's really pretty, even if this photo isn't the best.

As I get older, Christmas just seems to lose some of it's meaning. It has for several years now. Maybe because we don't have kids. And I never know what to buy for people. I always think I have these great ideas for gifts, but I'm never sure people like them. Wish lists on Amazon are really the best.

Of course, Christmas 2007 in South Florida also means 80 degree weather, still running the air conditioning, and the Miami Dolphins suffering another loss this afternoon. Bah Humbug.

Style Vs. Substance

Sheesh. I've been obsessed with trying to reformat this Blog page every since I started writing it! It's beginning to look like the colors and font styles are more important than what I have to say.

I'll be darned if I'm going to ask Tracey or Linda how they do it. I learn best by making mistakes and trying things out on my own. Of course, that's how I break things, too. Gianni thinks I should be a Beta tester for just about anything mechanical or electrical -- because I'm really good at "investigating" what the problems are in something, but then breaking it as I try to figure out what is wrong. Thank goodness Dad can usually fix it.

Someday -- soon I hope -- my Blog header page will have this pretty picture of me diving in the background, and all my posts will have a little picture of an angelfish right next to the title. I'm sure if I read the help section and reader forums long enough, I'll figure it out.

BUT .... if anyone out there wants to send me a hint, Thanks!

Addictions Part II -- Multi-Tasking

Multi-tasking. Gianni hates it when I do it. But I simply can't do one thing at a time. Yoga asanas and meditation are about as close as I can get to being still. Yet, even then, my mind has a really hard time staying "in the moment."

This morning, for example. I was going to get up at 7:30, eat breakfast, go to yoga, and then off to the PD for more fun (??) with the police mapping/GIS system.

Instead, my PodAlarm didn't go off because I forgot to turn it on after my run last night. I overslept by an hour. Woke up and decided to go outside and pull down the Christmas lights to start think about decorating while eating breakfast. That resulted, of course, in trying to decide which wreaths/trees to put up and finding the lights; then examining them for missing/broken ones realizing everything needed freshening up. "Heck, I don't want to do this now. I need my breakfast."

SO ... let's cut down the bananas from the backyard tree so I can put them on my cereal. Right. The baby bananas are not ripe yet. BUT ... one of my bougainvillea trees is dead and needs to be dug up. It never really recovered from Hurricane Wilma damage, as you can see.

Of course, I have to be careful that I don't run into Ali Dasha, our local alligator, who loves to sun in the backyard. But he's not around. Just a bunch of egrets chomping down on the worms. So I start hacking away; cut down the bananas; trim off all the dead banana tree branches; then cut off all old bougainvillea limbs and dig out the roots.

Of course, now it's 10:30 and my yoga class has just started. I'm in the backyard full of sweat and dirt. And I still have not eaten breakfast. Multi-tasking. Sometimes it is NOT a good thing.

Addictions

Addictions. You would think that, after working for a year in the Substance Abuse wing of a locked psychiatric hospital, I would have learned a thing or two about my own addictions.

Well, actually, I guess I did. I know that I can get totally focused on something, to the point of obsession. Take running, for instance. Running seems to be the theme of the day for me. I restarted the C25K -- "Couch to 5K" -- program in September. I had started/almost completed it during the summer of 2005, but was interrupted by Hurricane Wilma, which pretty much screwed up everything here in South Florida.

So tonight I just finished a repeat of Week 5, Day 2, running the day's program (warm up 5:00 walk; run 8:00; walk 5:00; run 8:00; walk 5:00, and a final 3:00 run home) in reverse. I love running at night. And I find that I'm really addicted to running again -- never thought that I would miss it so much, or that I would find that "runner's high."

Total mileage for the day (home to the 19th Hole Golf Club bar, where I **don't** stop for a drink) was 2.32 miles, at a pace of 12:32. Told you.... addiction. To numbers, to keeping track of my stats (including my weight, which is a whole other addiction), and to figuring out which music fits best with the pace. Found these C25K PodCasts designed for the program --really k000l and make running a lot easier (and faster) than two years ago.

Still believe I have another long race in me -- even with my temperamental knees. Talk about addiction. I plan to run another half-marathon. When is another issue.

Inspiration in Italy

I'm inspired by the artistic Web talents of my friend, Tracey, and of my sister, Linda. A little bored, too.

So, I've (finally) decided to update my blogger and make a concerted effort to post here more regularly. It's more fun and better than a journal. Things seem more real and my life has more meaning (at least to me) when I write stuff down. Guess it's still the bureaucrat in me -- if it's not documented, it does not exist.

I run better (check out my running logs through favorite site links), my motivation to "watch weight" stays consistent, and I still think people might be interested in what I have to say about life -- if I ever get around to saying it! That's the theme for today, anyway.

I love photos and guess that's the one area where I display at least a wee bit of creativity. Guess the other MAJOR thing about me is my husband, Giancarlo. Killing two birds with one stone ...

Here are two morphed photos I composed of the two of us when we traveled to Italy during September 2006. The first was taken at Trevi Fountain in Rome. Of course, we're throwing coins over our shoulders and making wishes that we'll soon return.
This photo is from inside a dungeon in a real, moated castle at Ferrara (near Venice), where Lucretia Borgia and her lover were imprisoned.

Ah, Italy....!

Memories and Memoirs

Ok.
I've procrastinated enough. Thought it would be fun to start my own blog - not that anyone will be interested in reading it. But you never know.

It's kind of like my memoirs. So I've started them, too. I know I have a lot to share about my experiences with the FBI. Especially at Ground Zero after 9/11 -- here I am with Bob, Kinsey Dog, and Doris. Will have to chat about that later.

I've learned this about myself -- if I start something in writing, I eventually get around to working on it. Here's a start.